Addition x Subtraction

It's December 1st. If you are a government employee like myself then it's PAYDAY! If you are a home-renter unlike myself then rent is also due today! Take care of your responsibilities people.  With that said, it's almost a new year. Yeah it's that time again. You know what I'm talking about. Those "new year, new me" posts are on the horizon. Everyone is out to convince others along with themselves how the next 365 days will be different from the last. Whether you just got offended because you are one of those people OR you feel my pain reading those every December, it's time to check yourself. Not anyone else, YOU. How is your 5 year plan holding up? How much have you progressed? How close are you? How far are you? What do you seriously need to focus on that will get you back on the track you unnoticeably got away from? Those are serious questions WE need to ask ourselves. I say "we" because I'm right there with you. Maybe these questions are a little premature for you. If you don't have that plan written out I am PERSONALLY challenging you to get that done by December 31st 2015. What good does it do to type that LONG, drawn out "New Year, New Me" post on Facebook that only you read completely just to fall short and forget what it said by January 2nd. These plans are important to track your progression on getting to where you want to be in life, rather than an app or Facebook give you a "flashback" memory to post lol. 

All that wasn't in my mind when I created the title for this post. I just started typing and it kind of turned into a self-check and expression on how much I dislike Facebook rant haha. Those are the sides to the main course. "Addition x Subtraction" is to be read "Addition by Subtraction". Addition, add, increase, on top of. Subtraction, take away, lacking, deduct. Going into 2016, which is a lot closer than you think, we need to let go of dead weight. That friendship going nowhere. That relationship that isn't progressing. That job where you see no promotion nor growth in site. Make room for what God has in store for your successful life. 

You are making it more difficult for yourself who may be in a stressful situation pertaining to any of those subjects to be happy. How can you expect to get that dream job when you are busy working yourself to death over this one. You want that dream husband/wife but you are still hanging around this dead-end relationship that just gives you another grey hair at the end of the day. Your current "friend" doesn't support your aspirations. Your goals. This person always seems to find the negative of any situation instead of highlighting the positive points. "I got a new job!" "They make you wear THAT??"..."Finally paid off my car!" "I don't know why you bought that ugly thing anyway". PLEASE let these toxic people go. Make room for the greatness you deserve. The greatness God has in store for you. It can't be added until some things are subtracted. Addition by subtraction. Don't drag into 2016 with this dead weight attached to you. Subtract the weight. Add the happiness. It's not going to be easy but when you reach that point when the addition starts coming it'll make it well worth the risk. Take away, increase. Lacking, on top of. Subtraction, addition. 

Soundtrack: "Value Pack 7: Zenith" by Fly Union

We Don't Change, We Simply Evolve

Fresh into this new age bracket of "25-30" I expected to just magically be "old" lol. I still feel youthful. Youthful in creativity. Youthful in being able to adapt to situations with ease. Youthful in imagination. In contrast I have also slowly witnessed my change in thought process. Change in attire. And change in music selection. It wasn't much of a change at all though. More of an evolution. With my thought process I learned to be less selfish. Realizing your decisions aren't just about you anymore. Realizing that your choices can directly have an impact on the people around you. People that mean a lot to you. People you care a lot about. The last people you want to disappoint are the people that support you the most and want to see you do great for yourself. 

As I type this post I've been listening to Erykah Badu's latest release "But You Caint Use My Phone". The way today's music as a culture has shifted its hard for me to find music that I actually enjoy. Lyrics, rhythm, overall sound. I've discovered a huge appreciation for neo-soul. Erykah Badu, The Internet, Bryson Tiller, Alina Baraz, Sam Smith, Jill Scott have all been in my ears the past few months. I got asked the other day "what new music you listening to" by a friend and it was hard for me to answer. I knew he wouldn't understand me breaking down The Internet's latest tape or how Erykah has something dropping in a couple days. I can't keep up with today's music. There's a new mixtape in rap every week! Don't get it confused. I still play my Fly U, Dom K, Migos, Drake, Jay, Ye, Cole and Future when it's time to brighten my mood but I find myself wanting to have my mind at ease after long days. 75% of the time I just want something soothing to listen to as I smoke my cigar and drink my Crown Black. I just want to relax. Neo-Soul puts me in that comfort zone. 

The clothes I wore about 2-3yrs ago are getting throw out the closet. I would call it a spring cleaning but I can actually still fit them. They just don't represent the person I am and the places I want to go. 3 years ago I was a manager at Journeys and a key holder in Huntsville's first street wear boutique. Believe it or not Diamond Supply, Pink Dolphin, Stussy, 10 Deep, and all your other favorite brands that are hot now were almost sitting on the shelf for weeks then. The trend of streetwear now was what I wore in 2010. It all repetitive and lacks originality. After my closet cleaning I only own about 3 graphic tees. Mostly Stussy and Obey. Nothing obscene with wacky colors. Classic and clean cut. Though I am still an avid sneaker lover I haven't been making the same purchases I did years ago. I don't buy the Jordans every weekend. I'm not up all night waiting for Yeezys. I have had my eye on this one particular pair of brown double monk strap Aldo's though! Being in the army my wardrobe has downsized dramatically. I don't have to worry about what I'm going to wear tomorrow. It's the same ACUs (Army Combat Uniform) as yesterday and the day before. I can't wait for the weekend or some type of event to actually wear clothes. I only purchased 4 sneakers ALL of 2015. If you know me you'd think I was lying because I used to get 4 pairs in 4 weeks. Progress. Evolution. 

Now Showing

Due to OPSEC I'm unable to go in depth of my current setting but I'm in the rain, under a net behind a 50cal (just got bit by a mosquito too smh) it's 2am and it's my birthday. Never would have thought in a million years I'd be bringing in my 25th birthday in these conditions, in this occupation, doing what I do. Couldn't have told me. I honestly didn't see life past 23. I was wondering what people did after you can legally drink and do all these other things that as a kid you couldn't wait til you were old enough to do. Smoke, drive, drink, have sex. Done, complete, accomplished, marked off. Now at 25, what's next?

Can't explain how much I've heard "my life is like a movie" or "we making a movie tonight". Well, I agree. But in a slightly, less party savvy way. 

Our life consists of "X" amount of years, days, and hours. We're told to make the best of each day, you should. Not knowing how long you will live in this life is all the push you need to make sure you are creating the best of each day, creating experiences and highlights for your movie. Life. When you are no older and can't do the things you used to and/or physically unable to do the stuff you want to do, the movie is over. When you relive your life through story, your movie, what type of audience will you attract? What genre will it be, who will you inspire? Will it be rated R? Filled with violence, drugs, sex from opening credits to the last scene. Or will it be PG-13? A little good here, a little good there and some rough patches in between. Would your parents want to see your movie? How about you kids? Would it inspire them to better themselves? A lot of questions to ask yourself, I know. It shouldn't be a repetitive movie. Smoke, drink, work, sleep. Smoke, drink, work, sleep. Who would actually stay in their seat to watch that?? It's a waste of time. Your movie must continue to be worth watching after you can legally drink, legally drive, and had sex with multiple partners. Create experiences. Go places. Do things. Educate others. Feed minds. Imagine telling your kids or grandkids one day how to went all these places, did all these things and inspired them to do those things and more to better society. Better the people around them and ultimately better themselves. The intro is over. It is now time for you to create that blockbuster movie of a life that is worth watching over and over again. Would you buy your movie?!

#SmallVictories PT.1

If you go to your iPhone "maps" app and type in "Nowhere", I'll be smack dab in the middle. Currently in the middle of nowhere North Carolina. I was expecting to be out here for one night as support while Bravo unit test fires their rockets on the HIMARS. That somehow turned into a 3-day event smh. So I packed food (snacks) enough for a day and a half tops. NOWHERE close to 3 days. So while you are enjoying your nice, comfy bed. Flat screen tv. Steak out delivery. Wifi connected cellular device. I'm in 25 degree weather. Sleeping in the back of a truck. 4 layers of clothing. 3 cold meals a day. No entertainment. Environment. I just measured my "bed" and it is the width of my hands one on top of the other. Not wide enough for my back nor chest, both of my hips are giving me every word of the dictionary lol. They'll be fine. I haven't lied yet. Which brings me to this post's topic. "#SmallVictories"

I originally got the phrase from one of my favorite musical groups, Fly Union. Though the group has disbanded I still carry the phrase with me in my mind. On my sleeve. Vocally. "Small Victories". There are two parts to these two simple words with each taking little to no effort. The only thing required from you is to believe in yourself whole heartedly. Without that, they are just 13 letters of the alphabet strategically placed together sounding out two words. This is how I apply the phrase to my life...

Everyone accomplishes something during their course of the day or week. Whether it's a test at school, handling situations at work, or getting the baby to sleep at a decent hour we all go through something. We all accomplish a goal. I find it very important to celebrate those wins. Those are wins. They are small victories. Knocking down barriers. Those are wins. Doing the unthinkable. Win. Accomplishing what they said you couldn't. Win. Celebrate those wins. You deserve it. I have researched that people in today's society are sad. Naturally. Just everyday sad. Lack of friends. Lack of motivation. Lack of support. They have good news but no one to share it with. I've found myself in that position multiple times. Did something great, who do I call? Oh, no one to call. If that's you I want to be the one to tell you, you don't need anyone. Celebrate your wins! Even if it's just you. People are so shady in this day and age that they don't even want to hear your good news. They didn't do it. Didn't happen to them, why should they care? It's so hard to get any type of recognition here in the army. You must be aware that you don't need any one else's validation to tell you that you are doing well. You work every day working towards God's satisfaction, not man. And if you are rewarded with another day above soil, you have been granted the opportunity to do better than the day before. Celebrate your wins. Yes they matter. 

#PureMotives (The Movement)

"Pure Motives" is a saying, or theme rather, that I've been working with for about a year or so now. It's something I simply live by. I say "simply" but I find myself often having to check myself about it. In conjunction with my belief in Christianity, the two words help me go about my tasks from day to day. Pure Motives. The two words aren't complicated so don't read too deeply into it. Let's break down each word. 

Pure. Webster finds phrases such as "not mixed with anything" and "clean and not harmful in any way" to define the word. I couldn't agree more. When it's pure it's clear. It's clean. It's not tainted nor damaged. It's symbolically angelic. When it's pure there's no doubt. With that adjective you solidify the word that follows as nothing but itself and containing nothing but it. 

Motives. A reason to do something. The object of a person's actions. Whether you realize it or not, we make decisions day in and day out. Some made with a biased opinion and others made with an educational guess or research preceding. Just like your decisions, your actions say a lot about your character as a person. Your character is ultimately you.

Pure. Motives. Like you, I get up and proceed throughout my day completing tasks, making decision, and taking actions based on my thought process. Are these actions and decisions you make daily done with a clean heart that will be pleasing to God? Allow me to clean up the question a little. It's said that God loves a CHEERFUL giver. Tithing because you want to, not because you have to. That thought of WANTING to is operating with pure motives. You aren't giving just to seek a return. Steering away from the church, it has been instances where I am at odds with someone. We are having our differences. Rather than escalate the situation or problem to be mad all day, night and week I attempt to defuse the issue. Don't say things just to get a reaction out of them or just to get the last word in. In the end its not worth it. Clean your mind, clean your heart, seek a reasonable solution. Everything isn't going to go your way. That's with ANYTHING in life. But you can't attack your problems/issues with hidden intentions. Your motives must be PURE. Be honest with yourself. Why did you say this, why did you do that? Would God be pleased? 

I have learned to be pleased with the outcome of things. Whether it is a relationship, friendship, job, test, challenge, anything. If I know I did my personal best and operated with PURE MOTIVES at any topic at hand then I am positively sure that the outcome was God's doing upon my clean heart. I don't second guess Him nor His actions. Because I know He will ALWAYS do his part as long as I do mine. It feels so good to know that if I don't get things my way and I acted upon everything with pure, clean, and untainted motives it genuinely wasn't meant to be. There's no "what if" "well maybe" "it's not fair" to recite. I did my part and God ruled on it. It's one of those scattered thoughts that's hard to put on paper and explain. I hope it was to some help and understandable. Clean your mind, clean your heart, operate. In that order! 

If you have questions feel free to contact me at ifitch@mail.com

The Cleanse.

"Drink more water" is a phrase I heard all too often when listening to one of my new favorite artist, Mick Jenkins. Currently on an international tour I was gifted the pleasure of seeing him perform live in New York Labor Day weekend. Going from being a contestant on my stage and now headlining his own show I was anxious to hear the songs I'd been bumping for the last 4-5months. He repeated "drink more water" throughout the set. FINALLY he broke down the phrase into simpler terms for us fans. He furthermore explained the way society works. The way we are fed information. How, from who, and when. How we can be so far led from the "truth" with the simple click of a mouse or the pressing of a key stroke. Seeking truth was the message. Drinking more water cleanses the mind and the body. So when he says "drink more water" he is translating "seek more truth".

With that being said, I finally built up the courage to delete my Instagram account. Doesn't sound like such a big move for some people but for me I felt like I was personally holding myself back. The social media platform for most was holding me hostage. And I allowed it to. With photos posted back 120+ weeks I look back and don't know where the time went. Checking it seemingly everyday I became a victim of the social experiment. I was a statistic in the scheme, in the creator's game. It consumed entirely too much of my time. It was my news feed, my entertainment, my source of trends and place of feeling "in". I'm not saying I should be the next casted onto "True Life: Instagram is bae" but I felt I was losing out on many opportunities when spending time simply scrolling and scrolling. Opportunities such as reading books, researching documentaries, finding real truths in stories rather than what media tells you and the next person's opinion. 

Personally, I'm a discreet attention seeker. For me it all started with sneakers in middle and high school. I wanted to have the little things without going over the top. I'd have the new Jordan's but not the jersey and Girbauds to match. (Yall remember those! I never had a pair tho lol) It grew into a facade. I felt like I was the man. On top of the world in my new Mikes. It made me feel good and that's what I took pride in, my sneakers. I noticed it was an uncharted lane within my peers so I started researching, gaining knowledge on the sneaker culture. That slight attention made me feel good inside. That was all I needed. Catching someone turning around to look at my shoes was that extra pat on the back that made me warm. That's exactly what Instagram is, that pat on the back, that one LIKE from a certain person. I've outgrown that. At this age and lifestyle I'm pursuing I no longer need that platform to make me "happy". It's time for me take my talents and cool pics elsewhere. Think about it, it's just flooded opinions, everyone's place of wanting to be heard, and expressions of feelings. I'm good on that. Instagram has slowly evolved too. The game has changed for real lol. The "news" on there? I can find the full story elsewhere. The gossip of artists and what people call "celebrities"? I've got my own life to live, not interested in keeping up with theirs too. Shoot not even celebrities' lives. Other people's too. People see you out in public and think yall cool cause of a "like". I don't know you fam. 

Want to keep up with me? Hit my line, let's do lunch, grab a drink or something. If you were to die right now, would you be mad your 1835 followers weren't in attendance? Or have them all show up and converse with "I don't know dude but he got nice sneakers and I saw him out a couple times, he get hella likes on IG". Welcome to 2015. This the world we live in. Innovate, Inspire, Create, Teach! Get off Instagram with selfie sticks and actually enjoy the people around you without having to document it. Post is kind of everywhere but I hope the message was there. If you were impacted in anyway by this I encourage you to reach me, my Instagram is......ha! Yea right. 

Photogenic

 I literally had to put on Erykah in Apple Music while I wrote this post. You already know my love for African American women is real but this picture takes the cake. It was shown to me amid the process of finding my latest tattoo's art by one my closest friends Shya. I fell in love with it as soon as she showed me. The picture has since been my background for my phone. As soon as I become a homeowner this will be hung front and center as the attraction in my home. Little does my future wife know (whomever that may be) but she will be recreating this image. With much negotiation I will push for it to be hung somewhere in our home. We will have guests come over, possibly her parents and ask who it is that the portrait is of and we'll just look at each other and smirk undecided whether to break the news of it being their daughter or we'll come up with a nice, fabricated story. I guess it all depends how receptive they would be of the idea that their daughter is hung as an attraction nude and on display. But I wouldn't want it any other way. Her, with her godly physique, admired (unless she is objects to the idea). If I'm blessed with a child I also think it would be dope to recreate it a few months into her pregnancy. Well that may be a bit much but thats my imagination running. But if I toss the idea and she is as excited about the idea than me then I'm all for it. It'll be a while so I have time to work on my sales pitch with it. PowerPoint, history lesson and all. The picture is so innocent, and seductive at the same time. The highlight of the curves around her waist. The peak of daybreak around her breasts. The mystery of this figure with no face. It only furthers my case of African American women being the most beautiful beings created. 

Queen.

I honestly don't know where to start. My mom asked "why?" and I simply replied "because I liked it". It's much more deeper than that but that's my mom and that's the only answer I could give without getting a lecture or having to answer multiple follow-up questions lol. Setting aside my gender and my sexual preferences I truly and honestly believe that the African [American] female is one of the most BEAUTIFUL things ever created on this Earth. Have you seen an elderly African American woman lately? She is BEAUTIFUL! I'm 24 and my peers are now having children of their own, have you seen an African American female child? They literally look BORN to be a queen. They are all queens! Whether their hair is natural or lengthened with extensions the brown skinned female is simply a site to see. From the crown of their head to the slightly lightened soles of their feet the African American woman is a person to be worshipped. I'm convinced that there are distorted mirrors in the homes of some of them. I often see women of color walking around with their heads down because they feel as if they don't look as "attractive" as the next queen. It's frustrating to know that my compliment won't be enough to change that opinion of them self because society or [social] media has corrupted and sculptured their mind into what the "ideal" female looks like. 

While in AIT (Advanced Individual Training) I was stationed in Fort Lee, VA. One of my battles showed me a documentary/mini series entitled "The Book of Negros". I was glued to the screen the entire time. I don't want to make this post too long by explaining so you'll have to google it on your own. Looking back on scholastic years I realized I was deprived of learning about MY history. Rarely did I see anything in school books about where I am from. Rarely did I learn how my ancestors were brought from thousands of miles away to where I call "home" now. My latest tattoo is to never forget where I come from. Through the generations we basically have to educate each other on what happened before we were born. It's not in books, seldom will you find it in movies so all we have is each other. My tattoo is a "reference" (for lack of better words) that I won't forget where I come from. Nor will I forget the place where EVERY African [American] woman is a queen. Don't be brainwashed by television or by what these models look like in the magazines. Look at your mother. Look at your Grandmother. Look at your sister, your niece, your daughter. THOSE are the Queens we have today. They are just as beautiful as the woman who went through multiple auditions, hours of make-up, and photoshopped bodies! In the past I've wished that the person I dated not wear make-up. I personally felt she was beautiful without it. She was born beautiful. No need for additives. I already accepted her for what God created her to be. I embraced it, I wanted to her to do the same. To see what I saw when I looked into her eyes which made the rest of her physique glow. 

If the lord blesses me with a child of my own I hope to have a daughter. I want to raise her to realize that she comes from a place of queens, not presidents. A place where she is judged by character, not by how large is butt is and how big her breast are. Where she is praised by her qualities and not how easily she opens her legs to intercourse. That's what I want my daughter to know and never forget. I also got the tattoo on my side, over the rib for biblical reasons we should all be familiar with. But in closing, every "Black", "African [American]", "Colored" female is a Queen and should be treated as such.